past

Giving up on replaying one's past is such a hard thing. You can relive your past and enjoy it, or you can relive your past and hate every minute of it. Not sure which replay keeps going on and on...but you just have to give it up at some point!

I love the old vinyl records. The 76 records were the best. I think of them as I replay the past. The best ones have no scratches. The sound is so rich, so full. The voices and instrumental fill the room as if the musicians were right there with you. That is how my memories are...as if I was there. There are times, of course that I would like to replay and get a do over. Like Peggy Sue Gets Married. But as in all old movies, the end comes around and you have to choose which life you want to lead. I also had a sweet friend ask me if my choices have been worth it. If this path was worth the choices that have been made. Tough choices of course but true choices.

The things I would like to have do overs: I would be a much better friend. Somehow sitting still would be a thing to learn how to do. Not sure it could ever be learned. Dance longer and harder and sing louder! And last but not least...never let the nay sayers get me down.

Wind

Today was Paradise...not just a little letter p...but that great big Capital letter P! In all accounts, it has been not the most beautiful day, but such a beautiful, wonderful, great day. Olive has really enjoyed it. It is so fun to watch a dog (I try not to call her that out loud) when the weather gets really crisp. She has run, jumped, barked and smiled all day long. I am sure, for her, being away from our apartment in Midland has been a life changing experience!

I love watching the day wake up. Why it is so magical here I do not know. For some reason, living here, being here makes everything so much more enjoyable. There is a huge buck living in the field across from me. I say living, he is really just visiting until hunting season is over. Last night he settled in and just looked at me. He was fifteen yards away. As we strolled down the lane this morning, a beaver - otter - water critter of some sort was sitting on the ice looking at me. I am sure all these animals want to know what I am doing here, or possibly they don't care. They just want their day to go along peacefully, quietly. I am so obliged to go right along with them.

Bucket Lists

I have made it back to the wonderful glorious cabin. I am so excited to be here! You might say a wild hair just jumped up and bit me on the....well you know exactly what I am trying to say here.
Being a lady, I can not say exactly what I would like. On the other hand, there are those of you who know I would just bust out and say exactly what I would love to say! Who cares! I am in the MOUNTAINS!

I have been examining my bucket list. I have come to the conclusion...what in the world is a bucket list any way? It sounds wonderful. Great movie. But isn't it just another way for us to re-evaluate our life and decide it has come up short in some form or fashion? Therefore, today, I have decided, NO BUCKET LIST FOR ME. My bucket list is that I am not looking back any more to re-evaluate my life and decide where, how many times, how much etc. did I mess up, miss out and basically ruin my life. I am settlin in folks. As one friend used to say, take a deep seat...could be a bumpy ride.

Did anyone notice the moon these last two nights? My goodness - what a moon it was! I would say it was like having a flash light on steroids. I don't really know how the air gets so clean up here - but it is amazingly crisp - clean and everything sparkles. When you get this moonshine on top of all this cleanliness (well let's say God just dipped everything in Clorox up here) it just is breathless. I woke yesterday early to a light coming through my window. Of course I thought...Here it comes....I am going to the light....That's right...forget the bucket list for sure now! But it was the moon setting. Honestly I thought someone was shining a light in my window. Nothing really compares.

I have noticed that my shoulders are dropping a notch each side the longer I am here. Instead of wearing my shoulders as earrings-them being so tight they are finally relaxing! I have only been here a couple of days now. It is winter here. -2 the morning I drove in. I have snow in my yard, steam on the stream, and a dead pellet stove. Even that does not upset one. It is Colorado time!

I know before long the sun will be creeping over the mountain and he will be stretching his long fingers into the day. For some reason, the days take a really long time to wake up. Guess when you have been doing everything in your power to stay warm and finally have gotten there waking is the last thing you want to do! Sweet Olive would agree with that! I sent her out this morning to make her announcements, such a weak show. All she wanted was to get back in to her hopefully warm spot on the bed and to her wonderful dream.

Hope you all have a wonderful day!

Hello my little doves, It has been so long since our last chat!

Life is a wonderful and wondrous thing. We are allowed to venture in so many directions, always moving, always changing. I am headed on a new adventure and a bit intimidated and a bit excited. I think this is what life is all about. My resolution this year is to go for it. To not sit back in a quandary, uncertain and unable to make a decision. I am going to go forward, jump in with both feet and TRY not to look back. Nostalgia is an ugly and mean thing to have in your arsenal of weapons. It paralyzes and hinders even the strongest of individuals. I am afraid for the past 53 years I have been in that quagmire of life that has kept me from freely and joyously venturing out to do what ever my heart desires. ( Of course this is all coming from a woman who lives in Paradise...go figure.)

I am moving to a small town in West Texas for 6 months. I am giving it an ending time so that I have bondaries. I am very excited to do this as it is in a field that has romantically been calling my name forever. I can't wait, yet I find myself moving so slowly forward. Why is it that something that seems so right, takes every ounce of your being to move to? I am hoping that tomorrow I will be out the door, bags packed, headed to a new adventure. Wish me luck!

It is a long overdue time to say Thank You to all who serve and have family serving in the Armed Forces. Because of you I am allowed to write this, unhindered. I can not begin to understand the sacrifices you must make.

Here I sit in my warm little world. I know where my family members are, every one of my family members. I can pick up my phone and call my child at the drop of a hat. I can hop in my car and visit her. It is beyond understanding not to be able to do that on any given day, but during the holidays it becomes even a harder realization. There are spouses, parents, friends who do not know where their loved ones are today. It is a daily thing for them. Able to function daily, able to do all that a family does. You are amazing. I can not tell you how much I admire and appreciate you. Words are just so inadequate here.

To those on the front lines, Thank You. Honor, Love of Country, Courage. Just a few descriptives that do not begin to cover you. Loving to write, loving to paint a picture of things, I am at a loss. I am sorry there are those that do not honor you. Not wanting to be political, I won't say anything else other than I know that you are defending even their rights. Thank you. May you all be safe tonight, may you all have a wonderful holiday. May you all know that we are all so very humbled by your service. Thank you.

Paradise...AHHH.

I am back in the mountains. Don't know why they talk to my soul so strongly, but they just do. My cabin is lit up with hundreds of beautiful Christmas lights! I love it! My tree is up and decorated today. I have been such a crazy lover of Christmas all my life. Even though I won't be spending Christmas here this year, I had to have a tree and all the fixin's. It is just what you do.

We have had some really wonderful days. Beautiful sunshine, crisp cool air. It is cold, but not horrid cold. Olive loves it. When I got back, she had to spend a few hours checking every corner of the yard for new smells. No barking, no running, just a very slow methodical search of her domain for any strange smells. Such a funny dog.

Tomorrow night the town does the tree lighting. It is very Norman Rockwellish. I really love it. They close off Main Street and sing Christmas Carols....just so wonderful! Wish you could all be there!

I am headed back to paradise tomorrow. It is a bittersweet leaving. It is time to be gone, and it is hard to leave. I don't remember when I have been this exhausted. I have spent the day in bed, trying to catch up so that I can actually get on the road tomorrow. The really scary thing is I have been sleeping. Rarely do I nap during the day.

Olive is really ready to be back in her yard. She is a funny girl. The longer she is away from her home, the more skittish she becomes. Every noise and blowing leaf catches her off guard. She shies away, she jumps. It is time to take her home.

Going back is always a challenge in winter. You must watch the weather. There is always a window of opportunity to get in. You do not want to push the ice and snow. It is so unforgiving.

I will let you know when I get home!